Posted by: purpleandrew | September 13, 2010

Some stuff about Andrew

Well, it has been an interesting few days and somewhat surreal as i come to terms with a few words given to me by my GP on Wednesday last week.

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, that’s what he said I had, or ME to those who have heard of it. But more of that later.

Where did it all start? that is a question I ask myself. It is not as though ME starts with a specific event at certain time and date, not like falling off your bike and breaking your leg, you can pin point that precisely. ME is one of those things that has no discernible tangible start point. You do stuff, feel a bit tired, have a couple of early nights or take it easy and hey presto, right as rain.

Or so that’s how it seams. Then it happens again sometime later, maybe months later, maybe next week. So you rest again, but when circumstances mean that you can’t and you carry on regardless, then you start bumping into things in the evenings or need to take a break when pushing the lawnmower.  “Hang on a minute?” you say to yourself, “I am only in my thirties, what’s going on?”

I remember one incident in my previous life. I was doing some gardening and just came over all dizzy and just about fell over. After pulling myself up and sitting down, I got some help from family and had a strong cup of very sweet coffee and 2 bars of chocolate. All this did was make my heart thump like it was going to beat out of my chest, I remained tired and dizzy.

This sort of thing continued and was added to by being very tired in the evenings and yawning a lot. Work was demanding and I had a lot of driving, but with 2 parents working and a young family, this was the norm, you just kept on going, banging it out and ever so gradually and imperceptibly you become weaker when the demands on you become greater.

Then there was the change, separation and divorce. Man that was tough. Don’t let anyone tell you it is easy it is emotionally and financially exhausting. It can’t be easy for either parent, especially with young children, but living apart from your children is one hell of a strain.

So, why all this stuff, well I am not sure, sometime it is good to just be able to release some stuff, get it out of your system and let it go.

Back to last week i suppose.

Even though I had in my own mind thought I had ME, it was still a bit of a surprise to hear my GP say it. Now, this is the funny part. Since then I have been in some kind of post diagnosis fog or more accurately release. I have been even more lethargic and tired and really can’t be bothered doing much. It just seems to be so much effort for such small tasks, then there is the payback afterwards, falling asleep but not sleeping, not being able to watch TV because you can’t concentrate or just don’t give a monkeys for it anymore.

So, here I am, forty six and have ME. As Brookes would say “ain’t that a kick in the head!”

But guess what, this is the good part. I don’t have to live up to anyone elses expectation of me anymore. I am Andrew, just simple and plain old me. I have discovered so much about myself in the last few years and this gives me great strength and hope for the future. I found Leslie, even if I was pushed into it by a big Bear (now, that is a another story!)

So, it is onwards and upwards, even if some days that is doing the square root of bugger all, then so be it, I intend to be around for a long time yet and will get done what needs to be done, eventually. The rest, ahh well it may not have been that urgent or important anyway.

This is purple andrew signing off, I need to go have a lie down.

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Responses

  1. Sending love and wishes of strength and fortitude to you both…….
    xx


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